This morning there was an article entitledTrans* Invisibility, by "JamieAnn" Meyers that has to be one of the best examples of what makes "transgender" completely distinct from both transsexualism, and well, from sanity as well. The second paragraph pretty much sets the stage for this:
My wife and I were visiting with a cisgender heterosexual couple, and our conversation began to focus on personal relationships. Because we wanted to be authentic about our life experiences, we came out to them as a couple, and I came out as a trans* woman. Almost immediately, both of them said, "That doesn't matter to us." The intent of their statement was to be affirming, but the statement's impact on me was profoundly different. Though it's important to know that people respect and accept you, it's also important that they honor the lifelong struggle that you have faced as a trans* person.Now, think about this. The normal couple, and yes, relative to to the kook writing here, they are normal, basically says "Okay, no problem..." Sounds reasonable, at least to a sane person, But this is a transgender kook. No! Of course that is not example. They have to honor the struggle of someone choosing to play dress-up and pretend to be a woman. This is wrong on some many levels. It is insulting to women who often face very real struggles. It is insulting to gay and lesbian couples who have had to deal with discrimination. Simply put, it is outrageously insulting to anyone who has faced real discrimination for something that was not, quite literally, a lifestyle choice.
This person shows the true nature of transgender. It is not, as we are so often told, about being who you really are. It is about being transgressive. It is about being at odds with societal norms, and it is about rubbing society's nose in your misbehavior.
Seriously, this person is complaining about people being accepting. He, and yes, this is another person I refuse to pander to and call by female pronouns, is complaining because they are not making a big fuss over him being transgender. Give me a break.
I have a few friends who know my history. I have more who I am not sure know or not, and then quite a few whom as far as I know, have no idea. Out of the friends who know, there is basically one who I discuss it with much, And even then, he pretty much understands not to bring it up. He might rarely ask a question, but I am generally the one who broaches the subject. For example, on Monday night, we were talking and I suddenly realized something. asked what the date was. He thought and said, "I'm not sure, why?" I pulled out my smartphone, and saw it was the 11th. I realized that the day before had been the 7th anniversary of my SRS. I hadn't even thought about it. Not that is not a significant day for me, but as time has passed, surgery has ceased to be a major focus for me. Before I had it, getting to that point was very significant. Now, looking back, it simply marks the point where my life got a lot better.
Somewhat ironically, four days before that was the "anniversary" of "Autumn" Sandeen's showing up for work in drag. A day he makes a big deal of, especially this year because it marked 10 years of him pretending to be a woman. He has no idea, of course, what being a woman is like, and he never will. Ironically, his making a big deal out his "anniversary" is one of the indications of this.
But for me, the past becomes more and more distant. When I first started dealing with my problem (as opposed to making up an excuse like Sandeen and other transgender kooks have) I wondered if there would come a time when it would be easy to forget. The answer is yes. Outside of this blog, and the occasional conversation with my friend, being transsexual is not a major part of my life.
Funny, but I find it highly offensive when someone tries to remind me that they know that I am transsexual. It is not something I care to discuss with most people. The one person I do discuss it with holds a special place in my life, as my spiritual director. But in most cases, no, I don't like to talk about it.
And I find it rather silly that the original author makes a big deal out of comparing all this to "race." Now, just think about this for a second. A lot of humor has been made out of how people react to having the fact that they are a certain race pointed out. If you are a complete fool, you might feel it necessary to let someone know you are okay with them being black, or Asian, or Native American, etc., but most of us would consider that a bit gauche. And we would also consider it odd if someone got made because we didn't make an issue out of their race or ethnicity.
If you meet someone who is gay, do you feel it appropriate to make an issue out of it? Do you go out of your way to "affirm" that you accept their gayness? Not very likely. I find it amazing that the Huffington Post would publish such an absurd article, but then again, this is about the idiocy know as "transgender," where making sure everyone knows you are a "man in dress" is part of the fun.