Thursday, December 29, 2011

Stick and Stones May Break My Bones....

We all grew up learning that rhyme...  We know the rest.  "But words will never hurt me...."  Well, most of us did, anyway.  The basic idea is that insults are not as harmful as actual, physical attacks.  Unless, of course, you live in the fantasy world of the transgender crazies.  There, you start talking about "violence of spirit."  Or, at least you do if you are "Autumn" Sandeen and you are trying to elevate yourself as the transgender Martin Luther King, Jr. again.  Yes, Mr. Sandeen is at it again.

In another example of his attempts to look saintly, he has taken on the issue of the transgender fellow who, to quote "Monica" Roberts, "opened a can of whoop ass."  Yes, the same Mr. Sandeen who just about a month and a "two-thirds full cup of an iced, decaffeinated hammerhead."  Do you ever get the feeling that Mr. Sandeen is a bit obsessed about coffee?  I mean, really, do we need that much detail?  Including, I might add, the link to the definition of a "hammerhead?"  And let me digress her, and ask why anyone would want a decaffeinated version of such a drink?  

Here is how Sandeen describes his assault:
I have no idea whether this young man “read” me as trans, or recognized me from my being publicly visible as trans in the local media; and it didn’t really matter which of the two it was. What mattered to me is the very fact that he used an anti-transgender pejorative toward me that’s on par with the anti-gay f-word pejorative.
At the moment I heard and felt the sting of those words, I flashed red. I took the lid off my iced coffee and threw it in his face. While doing that, I said, “That’s for calling me thing.” Then I walked past – having noticed the young man had a stunned look on his face as I turned my back on him. I guess he expected me to lower my head in shame, obviously not knowing that I identify myself as being “Trans and Proud.”
 I felt good about my behavior until I realized I’d given into aggression and retaliation. I did the man no real harm, and I didn’t engage in behavior that the young man didn’t on some level deserve … but that’s not the way I want to behave when confronted with hate.
…In each of those two situations, I saw that I’m not always the moral person I see myself as being, but instead am someone who, in flashes of anger, doesn’t live up to her own standards of tolerance, patience, love and understanding. For me, I need to stop weaponizing my coffee and start thinking before I act in anger. Darkness can’t drive out darkness – only light can do that. I want to be a light.
First off, given the details he provided, I have to wonder if Sandeen's real regret is that he lost his precious coffee.  Second, it apparently never occurs to Sandeen that he should be glad that the "young man" didn't open his own can of whoop ass.  Clearly, Sandeen acted like a male, and escalated the situation, because, after all, he is "Trans and Proud....and apparently not very bright."  In the original version of this, he included one other detail...there were three young men standing there.  Now, a woman would be more cognizant of her safety.  A man, and Sandeen is all man, wouldn't think about that.  He is lucky he didn't become a martyr for this years "Day of Remembrance."

Well, Mr. Sandeen has apparently seen the light!  He goes on to say:
Thinking through how I’ll respond when I’m intentionally misgendered or called a pejorative in the future — as I’m absolutely sure I’ll be intentionally misgendered or called a pejorative in the future — I’ve decided that I’ll turn to person who engages in violence of the spirit and say “May God bless you, and may your days be filled with peace.” 
Setting aside, for the moment, the fact that misgendering Sandeen would be to refer to him using female pronouns, I suppose this is an improvement over his previous actions, which included cyber-stalking me.  Funny how he has not owned up to that one.  I guess that wasn't bad enough to tarnish his "halo."

If you read the original article by Sandeen, entitled "I’ve got coffee; and I’m not afraid to use it," you will find that it reads less like a mea culpa, and more like a boast.  If nothing else, the title shows he really doesn't get it...

The simple bottom line is, no insult justifies violence, even if you are silly enough to call the insult "violence of spirit."  As I have said many times, I don't take responsibility for other people's bigotry.  Shoot, I am tired of men like Sandeen trying to co-opt the experience of true transsexuals.  I don't care to be referred to as transgender, and find it highly insulting....but I am not going to go out and "open a can of whoop ass" because someone calls me that.  And I have been actually misgendered, and almost every time it has been deliberate and malicious, it has been by a member of the "transgender" community.  The one exception?  A guy I had met, and broke up with.  When I told him I didn't want to see him again, he tossed that at me.  And?  And, I just walked away laughing.

Yes, there is one other point that needs to be made.  I am secure in my identity.  I am a woman, and like any woman who gets called a man, my response is to consider the source, and realize that the person is not worth bothering with.

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