Trapped in a Loop

A "time loop" is common device in science fiction.  The characters find themselves repeating the same experience, over and over, seemingly doomed to forever repeat the same period repeatedly for eternity.  Sometimes, looking at the crap from transgender extremists feels much the same.  I keep having the experience of reading stuff, shaking my head, and thinking "They don't get it, and they can't see that they don't get it."

The latest version of this comes from, of course, the kooks at Shame on You Transgender Edition.  "Michelle" Spicer, who seems to have become he most prolific poster among those spewing ignorance on that blog starts off with this bit of drivel…

Have you ever noticed that when you are talking to a transgender woman that she is always 100% sure beyond doubt that she is making the right decision. She very well may be making the right decision, but it is not possible to be 100% sure about anything. We are humans and we have doubts, it's just part of human nature. Yet in order to toe the line in the transgender community, she is forced to maintain an impossibility to secure her position in the transgender hierarchy.

Now, I cannot speak to the experience of that non-existent entity known as a "transgender woman," but I would assume that, as usual, Mr, Spicer is referring to some random transsexual he has encountered.  Now, by the time a transsexual has reached the point of beginning transition, he or she has struggled through years of self-doubt, misery, and even self-hatred in some cases.  Most of us have suffered at least some form of abuse at the hands of others.  By the time we finally transition, we are generally quite sure we are doing the right thing.  But, something that has been lost along the way is the concept that transition is a trial period.  That is why it is, or at least should be, called the Real Life Test.  If it turns out to  not be the right choice, there is always the possibility to go back.  Of course, now, many kooks attack anyone making that decision.  Simply put, you have doubts, or if you don't need to transition to survive…then don't.

And again with this stupid "hierarchy" stuff.  Bunch of guys finding something to compete over.  There are no degrees of being a woman, and if you are a transsexual, then don't worry about the imaginary "transgender hierarchy," unless, of course, you really do want to link yourself to a bunch of guys in dresses…in which case, well, maybe you should think long and hard before you decide to have surgery after all…because there is no going back.

But then Mr. Spicer takes off on a really stupid tangent that should leave no doubt that he is not remotely transsexual…

I recently posted an article about hormones and I mentioned that hormone replacement therapy does not always cause sexual dysfunction. There was no end of transwomen ready to swear that they lost sexual function not only from the first time they took hormones, they lost sexual function on the way home from the pharmacy! Loss of sexual function happens over time and there are many transwomen who remain functional right up until the surgery. But you won't hear any of them standing up to say so, they are simply not allowed too. Not unless they want to risk losing face in a community that has little cohesion and offers even less help. Why do we have to keep up these pretenses? Why do transwoman have to argue about stealing the pink blanket from another baby hours after they were born in an effort to "out trans" the next transgender woman. The arguments are ridiculous and can make us look like delusional fools.

Okay, this bit of tripe is bad enough…but I checked out the article he refers to, and who led to the above is even worse….

Estrogen will kill your sexual function. More often than not this is certainly not the case. Your sex drive may change over time but your actual sexual function should not be affected until such time as you chose(or not) to have Gender Reassignment Surgery.

Okay, first off, it does not happen instantly.  That much is correct.  In my case, when I started out, I was on .5 mg of Estinyl (Ethinyl estradiol) which would be about the equivalent of 7.5 mg of Premarin, plus an injection of Depo Estradiol once a month.  It took about 6 weeks for my, uh, sexual function as Mr. Spicer puts it, to cease.  Oh, and after two to three months I asked my doctor to move me to more regular injections of Depo Estradiol, so he switched me to every two weeks.  Now, whether or not you lose the ability to have an erection and ejaculate (orgasms never went way) is dose dependent.  I imagine, like most male crossdressers, Mr. Spicer wants to keep having erections.  I was overjoyed that they were gone.  That is one of those significant differences that separates transsexuals and those who are "transgender."  Most men in dresses want to keep their penis, uh, fully functional.

Clearly, Mr. Spicer did not like being confronted with the truth.  He no doubt has a doctor with enough savvy to put him on an appropriate dosage for a crossdresser.  Of course, you probably wouldn't tell the patient that, since many crossdresser, while easy to spot, are not always willing to give up that fantasy that they are "really" a transsexual, even though they want to keep their penis.  Then again, he may even have one of those doctors who follows the ridiculously low dosing regimen of the Clarke Institute, which basically puts patients on low dose birth control pills, and then claims that hormones have little, if any, actual effect on male patients.  Uh…yeah, and I imagine some of them are quite happy with that.  But no the transsexual ones.

If you take a proper dose of estrogen, you will see changes over time.  You will have breast development, which can be as variable as that of women born women.  Some have more than others.  You will see some changes in facial features.  Again, this is variable.  It depends a lot on what you had to start with.  In the case of Mr. Spicer, I don't know how long he has been on hormones, but the pictures I have seen of him are not promising.  You will also see some fat redistribution, and you body will take on a more feminine shape.  Again, variable.  I know one very well known transgender extremist who sports a beer belly any redneck could be quite proud of.  What some would call Dunlap's syndrome.  (My belly, done lapped over my jeans…) I don't know how much of that is how that person dresses, and how much is hormones (or the lack thereof), and how much is simply genetics, but that person does look kind of odd.

The bottom line is, hey, if you want to identify as "transgender" fine…be transgender.  Just stop claiming stuff like how you are just as much a woman as anyone else, and how you are just like a transsexual….  Just stop trying to tell transsexuals they are transgender, because I got news for you…if you buy into the crap Mr. Spicer spews, you almost certainly aren't.

Panic in the Ranks!

It is always interesting to watch what happens when a high profile "transgender" person decides that maybe, just maybe, transition was not the best choice.  The transgender extremists go into defense mode, and quite frankly, they panic.  I guess it hits just a little too close to home.  For example, Mr. "Autumn" Sandeen often takes the lead in addressing such incidents.

Recently, there have been too such cases.  The first, and the one that has received far less attention, involves Michael Wallent, a high level employee of Microsoft, who had gone as far as having facial feminization surgery and implants.  He announced that he was returning to being a male in March.  The other, much higher profile case, was that of Don Ennis of ABC News, who suddenly announced in May that he was transitioning, and who just as suddenly announced that he was returning to being a male again.

Both of these cases share things in common.  Both transitioned relatively later, after long and successful careers as males.  Bother were married to women.  Both had relatively high profile jobs.  Both made very public transitions, Ennis more than Wallent.

The Standards of Care used to have a very strong standard for at least a year of what is known as the Real Life Test (or as some prefer to water it down, the Real Life Experience) before one could undergo sex reassignment surgery.  Unfortunately, under pressure from transgender extremists, this has been watered down to a requirement of 12 continuous months of living in a gender role that is congruent with their gender identity, along with a suggestion that one be seeing a therapist during this time.  The old standard spelled out what was required for a successful Real Life Test, including maintaining employment, being in school, or at the very least doing volunteer work.  Also, it was required that one change one's name to a gender appropriate one.  It also required that the therapist verify that the person was not simply hiding away from society, waiting out the time until surgery would be approved. 

Contrary to what some tried to claim, this was not to prevent someone from having surgery, or to make them jump through hoops because the therapist was some sort of sadistic control freak (though there were abuses in rare cases), but to ensure that the patient was not going to make a tragic mistake.  But many extremists pushed for surgery on demand.  The compromise opens the door to people being able to effectively bypass protections, which greatly increases the possibility of a mistake.

Even with the old standards, mistakes happened.  Some, which are often glossed over by transgender activists, whose mantra has become "No one ever really regrets."  But that simply is not true.  In some cases, the person changes their mind before going too far, as in the case of Don Enniss.  In other cases, the realization that one is not really a woman comes too late, such as the case of "Samantha Kane."  

Born Sam Hashimi, this person was a perfect example of the classic mid-life crisis transition. He was successful, married, and a millionaire.  Iraqi born, both his business empire, and his marriage collapsed at the end of the first Gulf War, and at age 37 he announced that he was going to become a woman.  And it appeared that he had made the right choice.  He poured quite a bit of money into cosmetic surgery, and took on the appearance of being a rather attractive woman.  He had a successful interior design firm, lived a jet-set lifestyle, and had sex with a number of well to do men.  But, he was miserable.  Being a woman, even a successful woman, was simply not what he really was.  

None of the articles I have read on this person, who now calls himself "Charles Kane," indicate if he had a history of crossdressing, but I suspect he did.  Many articles about his return to being a male mention things like his "sitting like a woman," and him wearing "dusty rose moccasins" with his suit.  He  has a very androgynous appearance, probably due largely to the facial feminization surgery he had.  In 2010 he was engaged to be married, and has since dropped out of the spotlight.

A somewhat lesser known case was Dani Bunten Berry, a successful game programmer, who after a third failed marriage underwent SRS at the age of 43.  Again, this person had serious regrets before dying of lung cancer at the age of 49.  Berry did not return to being a male, but did warn others about not rushing into having surgery.

Another, much more publicized case where regrets are clearly an issue, though denials have been made, is that of Renee Richards, the famous, or perhaps better, infamous tennis player, and eye surgeon who became the face of transsexualism in the 1970's.  Richards is a classic example.  He was an eye surgeon, a crossdresser, and he had surgery after a mid-life crisis.  He has clearly expressed regrets, even though he has also written a second autobiography in which he tries to hide this fact.  Of course, it should be remembered, once you have SRS, there is really no hope of reverting to being a male, no matter how much one wishes to.  Some, such as Kane, choose to return to a "male role," but once the penis is gone, it is not coming back.

Granted, actual regrets are rare.  I imagine a lot of people begin transition, discover it is not the right path, and return to a male role without much attention.  And, in some cases, what Mr. Sandeen refers to as "external pressures."  Yes, a person transitioning may face such issues.  I did, and it resulted in a seven year delay for me.  But, I should also point out that my initial transition was hasty, and not well planned out.  I also had a very poor therapist who was pushing me to move at a faster pace than I was comfortable with, and who glossed over real concerns that I had.

And, one other factor that contributed was the fact that even though I had changed my name, and lived as a woman, on Sunday mornings I would dress as a male for church.  It was an odd experience.  It was near impossible for me to "pass" as a male, and on one memorable occasion, I remember one of the older men holding the door open for me, and saying, "There you go young lady." even though I was wearing a suit (granted, I refused to wear a tie).  By the way, it was a relatively large church, so not everyone knew me.  

I tried, very much, to convince myself that I was doing the right thing when I reverted.  I struggled to find someplace where I would be comfortable remaining a male, but it was just not possible.  In the end, for me, it was become a female, or die trying.  But ironically, it is often those who are the least suited to transition who find it the easiest, at least in terms of finances.

If you look at a lot of the most virulent of transgender activists, they tend to have transitioned late, after successful careers as men, have been married with a number of children, and to either have been able to retain well paying jobs, or to have a steady source of income from retirement and or disability (often military).  What may appear to be a successful transition is more likely, something of a sham.  They don't live as women, but as transgender.  For many, their lives do not improve, but they have sufficient resources that they are able to avoid actually being forced to face reality.  

But sometimes they cannot escape the simply truth that transition is not living up to their fantasies, and they revert back to living as their true gender.  And, if the person is high profile, the transgender activists go into a panic, because they fear that the truth might come out.  The simple fact is, most "transgender" people have a gender that matches their birth sex.  They are not "women trapped in men's bodies."  They do not have a mind that is at odds with their body.  They are simply engaging in what is, in effect, a form of anti-social behavior.

Unfortunately, the transgender extremists know this, and that is why they have an obsessive need to hide behind true transsexuals.  They want to first claim us, and then push us to the forefront and claim to be just like us.  But they are not, and this is clearly seen by anyone with a shred of common sense.

And if someone who is not a transsexual realizes this, and decides to return to their true gender they may well find themselves under pressure from their so-called friends to continue with their transition.  I know when I postponed my transition, which actually was because of external pressures, though this was not immediately obvious to myself, or anyone else, I was pressured by my therapist to not do so.  I actually had to have someone else speak to that therapist on my behalf because of the pressure I was subjected to.

This sort of behavior is outrageous.  It very likely led to the suicide of Mike Penner, also known as Christine Daniels.  Instead of letting that person sort things out, there was an attempt to "help."  Or more specifically, an attempt to force this person back into being a very public face for the transgender community.

Keep in mind, transgender dogma now holds that simply saying "I am a woman," makes one a woman.  The idea that someone might "think" they are a woman, and then realize they are not, refutes this absurd position.  If someone can realize they are making a mistake, it means that it is entirely possible that anyone could be making a mistake, and well, deep down, many know they are not really women, so this could blow their little fantasy world wide open.  It's like a loose thread.  If people notice it, and start pulling at it, the who thing comes unraveled.

I am sure that many were thrilled to have someone as high profile as Don Ennis donning a wig, and a dress, but if that was not right for him, that is his right.  Attacking him because you find his reasons for returning to his birth gender lacking is outrageous.  His story is a bit odd, but if he feels the need to hide his real reasons, that says more about the voyeurism of the transgender community than it does about Ennis.  Making such a choice can be difficult, and the person should be given space to do so.

The same is true for anyone else who feels the need to make a correction.  It may terrify those who know, deep down, that they are now living a lie, but they should deal with their own demons, and not try to drag others down with them.

A Few Words on Surgery...

This morning, I had a thought that came to me about something that "J. Skyler" said about me.  Referring to me, this person asserted, "...she's a surgical essentialist who thinks anyone who doesn't undergo surgery is pretending/deviant. "  Of course, as is typical with the TG kooks, this is a very simplistic portrayal of a much more complex opinion.  As I pointed out in comments yesterday, I would not automatically use the term "deviant."  As to "pretending," it is also not quite the word I would use either.

So, what do I believe?  First off, I believe that sex reassignment surgery....  Well, let me pause first here, to specifically reject the absurd trend towards calling it "gender reassignment surgery."  This is part of a larger effort by the TG crowd to muddy up, somewhat ironically, the waters they themselves created.  A common meme pushed by the TG crowd is "sex is what is between your legs, gender is what is between your ears."  Of course, they also like to push the idea that gender is, somehow, both fungible, and a choice. But they also want to claim that being TG is not a choice.  In short, they are pretty much making it up as they go.  More precisely, sex is what is between your legs, and what we call "gender" is better defined as the sexual differentiation of the brain.  Simply put, you are either hard wired as a man, or as a woman.  It is, in spite of one of the sillier assertions of some TG kooks, quite related.  But it also occurs at a different time during development.  The body can go male, and the brain female, or vice versa.  Such a condition is rare, but it is what make a person a true transsexual.  So, for something to actually be "gender reassignment surgery," it would have to change the brain, not the genitals.  In short, "gender reassignment surgery" is a fictitious concept, and simply does not exist.

Now, returning to my original thought, sex reassignment surgery, or SRS, does not make a man into a woman (or vice versa) it makes a male into a female (again, or vice versa) to the extent possible with modern techniques.  A better way of putting it would be to say that it allows a true, or classic transsexual the opportunity to live a normal life, and relieves their discomfort with their body.  It corrects, as much as possible, what is, in effect, a birth defect.  It is not magic, and it does not  change who a person is, or make them something they are not.

What this "J. Skyler" person seems to suggest is that I think that the act of having surgery would do just that, and nothing could be further from the truth.  Mr. "Autumn" Sandeen whined, "...It's more than that. She even gets on post-SRS folk who she deems to not be ideologically pure."  Again, a statement that is a bit of a distortion of what I actually think.  Yes, I have encountered post-ops that I seriously believe made a mistake having SRS.  For example, there is "Willow" Arune, the notorious defending of Bailey, Blanchard, and Lawrence, who asserted that he had decided to have SRS because he was raped in a Thai prison (and supposedly had it suggested by a therapist in Thailand).  Another good example would be "Anne" Lawrence...of Bailey, Blanchard, and Lawrence.  I could name a few more, but why bother?  Some are relatively well known, and some are more obscure.  Some have openly declared that they made a mistake, and others, like Arune, just act out in ways that show that their surgery was in error...while often maintaining that they made no mistake.  

So, what is my view?  It is actually simple.  SRS, like an medical procedure, has indication and contraindications.  It is not for everyone.  Surgery is not the dividing line between "real and fake, or between pretending/deviant and...well, whatever that person imagines would be the alternative."  Nor is it about ideology.  Of course, this shows what TG is about, and why it is a flawed, and yes, very dangerous concept.  SRS, again, is a medical procedure.  Those who would undergo it should be carefully screened.  In fact, if a therapist is not rejecting people who seek it, something is very wrong.  And sadly, an increasing number of therapists will pretty much rubber stamp any request.  Mistakes are going to happen.  Some people will always be able to con even the best therapist into granting them approval.  But, therapists should be more cautious.  Surgery should never be "on demand."

For example, if they are faced with someone who is middle-aged, has had a long and successful career as a man, who has shown no prior issues with their gender identity (and no, crossdressing not only doesn't count, but should be a red flag), these things should be investigated.  People who are transsexuals have life-long problems.  When someone claims they have always "known" they were the wrong sex, but clearly had no problems coping, and then suddenly, often after something that would otherwise trigger a mid-life crisis, declare that they are transsexual, and want a sex change, something is probably amiss.  As much as possible, the therapist should interview friends, family, and when appropriate, spouses.  There are a lot of things that should be looked at.  Taking the person's word for it, is not a wise path.

Fortunately, most who should not have SRS don't seek it.  This is the other side of the coin.  I don't think, for example, That Mr. Sandeen is a man because he doesn't want surgery.  I think he doesn't want surgery because, simply put, he is a man.  If he did decide to go the full route, it would not change him into a woman.  He would still be a man, albeit one with a vagina....in effect, finally becoming a transsexual, albeit an FTM.

And that brings us back to a very simple fact.  True transsexuals are rare.  Those who, for want of a better term, can be labeled as "transgender" are far more common.  This has always been true.  Being transgender is a choice, and currently something of a fad.  It is, in many ways, the current rebellious fad.  Such things come and go.  History offers many such examples, but the ones most are familiar with are the more recent ones... In the Fifties, there was the Beat Generation. At least they gave us some interesting literature.  In the Sixties, the Hippies came along.  They gave us some decent music.  They were followed by things like Punks, and Slackers....which didn't seem to give us much of anything.  I imagine, in time, the TG fad will begin to wane as well...and some will be left badly damaged because of it.

I Don't Know Why Cooke is Confused

I just wanted to post a brief article about something that just showed up on Women Born Transsexual.  Suzan Cooke seems confused that Drew Cordes has a problem with gendered pronouns. The answer is simple. If Cooke just bothered with a bit of research, she would find out that Cordes, who had SRS relatively recently, almost immediately realized that he was not really a woman, and is now, as is sometimes sadly the case, yet another who has gone off the deep end for just that reason. I had doubts about Cordes, and was more than a bit surprised when he announced he had surgery. I was not surprised, shortly afterwards, when he started expressing regrets.


Of course, this sort of thing can be expected as, more and more transgender kooks push for surgery on demand. Like Cooke did not too long ago when she was telling people to "cowgirl/cowboy up" if they make a mistake.

Oh well....

A Truly Moronic Suggestion!

It is one of those truly stupid ideas that simply will not die.  Far too often, usually after a news story about how someone has major regrets about having undergone sex reassignment surgery, or in the most recent case, an woman who now regrets having taken male hormones, some fool will pop up and say "If you make a mistake, then live with it!"  At times, this is part of a larger demand for "surgery on demand." That is, the idea that the Standards of Care should be abandoned, and people should be allowed to have SRS on a whim.  Sadly, there are some unscrupulous surgeons who come close to that already.

The latest incarnation of this idiocy, comes, as it always does, from someone known for taking extremist positions.  In this case, not surprisingly, and not for the first time, the source is Suzan Cooke.  In a couple of articles, here, and here, Cooke has a hissy fit over the idea that doctors should actually have to be responsible for doing their jobs.

For MTF transsexuals, hormones are a major diagnostic aid.  If a man mistaken thinks he should transition it is usually sexually motivated.  A few months to a year on a proper dose of estrogen, and his sex drive is reduced, and voila, he begins to lose interest in transition...unless, of course, he is an aging transvestite, where a lowered libido is often the trigger for the sudden desire to become a woman.  In the case of an FTM, sexual issues are rarely the cause of a desire to transition, but there is also the issue of the difficultly of reversing the effects of testosterone.  For a woman, taking hormones by mistake are far worse than they are for a man.  For a man, about the worst possible outcome is permanent sterility (relatively rare, since they probably won't be on them long enough) and possibly the neat to have his breasts surgically dealt with (again, relatively rare).  

In the case in England that triggered Cooke's most recent rant, it was a woman who not only underwent testosterone treatment, but who also had a double mastectomy.  Interestingly enough, the doctor in this case is the one who replaced Dr. Russell Reid who became mired in controversy when a patient, who had clearly lied and who had suffered from some seriously delusional ideas about how life would be as a woman, had regrets after undergoing SRS.

Now, Cooke's suggestion might seem, at face value, to be reasonable.  But, in truth, it is simply wrong.  First off, doctors have a responsibility to, as the pledge in the Hippocratic Oath, to "first, do no harm."  A surgeon should require that anyone seeking SRS provide verifiable documentation from a competent therapist, as well as a second recommendation from another therapist.  The second letter is necessary because, quite frankly, there are some therapists who simply should not be allowed to practice.  I know, I saw one early in my transition, and that person contributed greatly to my transition being delayed.

I was dealing with several issues, including coming to grips with my true sexual orientation.  Instead of working with me on these issues, the therapist I was seeing simply glossed over them, and pushed me to proceed.  I clearly needed time, and she wanted me to move ahead.  This led, among other things, to a serious breakdown, and I detransitioned for seven years.  In retrospect, I wonder what might have happened if I had allowed her to pressure me into proceeding before I was ready.

I also know of a case involving a middle-aged woman who, more out of loneliness than any gender issues, started claiming to be an "FTM" so should could hang out a research study targeting "transgender" people.  She actually seemed to relate more to the MTF staff, but she was being pressured by one of the FTM staff members to "get off the fence" and start hormone therapy.  It was obvious that this was not a good idea, but he would not listen to reason.  Fortunately, she relocated to Alaska, and escaped from his efforts to get her to do something that would have caused serious problems.

Transition, hormones, and surgery are not to be taken lightly.  To suggest that someone "just live with it" is an incredibly callous view, especially coming from someone who felt the need to transition.  If you are a transsexual, imagine being told that.  Actually, you probably don't have to imagine.  I know I was, more than once.  It is not good advice.  Now, imagine having undergone surgery by mistake, and actually losing the option of dealing with one's situation. SRS is, especially for a MTF patient, irreversible.  There is no real possibility of becoming a full male again.  

Mistakes happen.  I can think of two well-known cases where the person involved has almost certainly made a mistake, but has refused to acknowledge it.  And I know of several causes where the person has made the fact that they made a mistake very well known.  In all of these cases, a competent therapist could, and should, have prevented the person from making the mistake.  Yes, the person involved lied, and for that reason, they share some of the responsibility.  But a competent therapist will do more than simply take a person's statements at face value.

If anything, the Standards of Care need to be tightened.  People who really need SRS might be a bit inconvenienced, but they will make it through the process.  Those who should not have surgery should be screened out, before a mistake is made.

If He Would Stop Lying, Perhaps Mr. Sandeen Would Feel Better

"Autumn" Sandeen, the Eunuch Who Would Be Queen, is again whining about his mental illness and how down he has been lately.  Ironically, the answer is right there, staring him in the face, practically slapping him silly trying to get his attention, but he keeps ignoring it.

He is depressed because he is trying to be something he is not, and deep down, he knows it.

Sandeen is the classic crossdresser who gets bored and tries to become a transsexual so he can keep the thrills going.  The classic example of this was Renee Richards, who tries, desperately, to deny that he made a mistake, even though it is clear that he did, and that he knows it.  I have suggested to several therapists that they read Richards' book to better understand what should be red flags indicating that a person should not be considered for SRS.  Such an intervention might have helped Sandeen who shows much the same sort of history as Richards.

Sandeen says:

On a certain level, it feels like I’m internally fighting for my survival as a woman because of external efforts to define me as a man. And internally for me, this is at the intersection of being a trans woman and being disabled due to mental illness.

Of course, Sandeen is not a woman in any sense of the word.  He is a male-gendered, male bodied person who is trying to rebel against gender norms.  He cannot change his brain, which is clearly and immutably male.  He has not remotely changed his body to be female (though that would just make him what would effectively be a sort of pseudo-FTM.  We have more than a few of those already.

Like most men, Sandeen refuses to admit to error.  He has chose this path, and he intends to stubbornly see it through.  I suspect his castration was motivated by a desire to prove that he was man enough to become a woman, making a sacrifice that would upset a lesser man too much.  

Sandeen cannot "survive" as a woman, since he isn't a woman to begin with.  He cannot be what he is not.  And deep down, he really does not want to be.  He wants to be a "gender rebel," like "Kate" Bornstein, another highly disturbed individual who mistakenly thought surgery was the answer to his demons.

Those external efforts that Sandeen complains about are called reality.  He has a penis.  He is a man.  End of story.  He has attempted what is, effectively, a legal fraud and he committed perjury to accomplish this.  He basically lied and claimed to have changed his sex, when he has not.  When he is careful, he speaks of "legally changing his gender," which is an absurd idea.  

First off, according to the way that Sandeen would normally define the word, it is neither a legal concept, or subject to change.  If one could change one's gender, transsexuals would be treated mentally, rather than physically.  There would be no basis for sex reassignment surgery.  We would simply have our "gender" changed to match our bodies.  

Gender, we are told, is what is between our ears, sex is what is between our legs.  In the case of a true or classic transsexual, the gender is truly different from the sex.  In Sandeen's case, the gender and the sex are the same, and the issue is one of transgression.  Sandeen is rebelling against what he really is, choosing to become, in effect, a "man in a dress."  He wants the world to know he is a man, but he wants to force the world to call him a woman.  It is a control issue, which of course, is typically male.

The simple fact is, Sandeen is lying, and he knows he is lying.  He knows he is not really a woman, and that he never will be one.  He doesn't really want to be one, but he wants to force society to accept him as one.  The reality of his situation is ever with him.  He whines, he complains, he accuses others of intolerance when they will not pander to his lies, but he knows he will never really change things to his warped concept of reality.  And that makes him depressed.

Perhaps if he simply accepted reality, and stopped trying to deny it, he might feel better.  He has been able to fraudulently obtain a court document that says he is female, but he is not female.  He is now applying to change his birth certificate to reflect this fraud.  He has tried to tell himself that this will make it all better.  But he knows the truth.  He will continue to be a man, and nothing will ever change that.  Better that he accept his, and be happy being a "gender rebel," than trying to force people to pander to his demands.  It simply is never going to happen.  He may force clerks to put on a false smile, and say "Ma'am" to him, but he knows when his back is turned, they are snickering and saying, "Whoa, it's a dude..."  And that is why he is so depressed.

Excuses, excuses....

When I started this blog it was not my original intention to wind up commenting on other blogs, but I do seem to do that a lot...well, here we go again.

In a recent blog entry, lead gender facist Monica Helms writes about transition. Well, he (sorry, but I honestly cannot see Helms as anything other than a man) starts out talking about transition, and actually managing to raise some interesting issues, but then he goes off on a tangent about how some get "stuck." Or, more correctly, he starts defending the classic TG excuses used to show that they are really "transsexuals" and not just men who don't want to give up their manhood.

Now, I think most who are survivors of HBS such as myself would say that transition is a finite period that ends when one has completed surgery and is successfully living as their appropriate sex.

But, as I say, the real purpose of Helm's post is to justify not transitioning...or more specifically, to make excuses. But, that should not be surprsing to those who are familiar with Helms who has always tended to be strongly anti-surgery, even though he now claims to be surgery tracked. Sure, and the Easter Bunny will be bringing us all eggs on Sunday. No, Helms just wants to claim silence critics who have pointed out that he has no business commenting on transsexuals, as he is not one. Nothing has changed, and he should still stay out of matters he has no real knowledge of.

But, let's look at the excuses Helms offers:

Financial:

Helms wants to claim that some simply cannot afford surgery. In truth, few can actually afford surgery. I mean really....how many have $20,000+ just sitting around? And $20,000 is kind of the cheap side, and does not include other expenses. For almost anyone, paying for surgery is a struggle. But, if one really needs surgery, one will find a way. Some max out credit cards, others take out a loan, and some simply save the money. Once I was in a position to begin, my plan was simple. I knew how much I needed in terms of income. If I worked for a given period, saved half of that income, and lived on the other half, I could make it in a year to a year and a half, provided I had my surgery in Thailand. Ironically, things worked out a bit different. I got a job with insurance that covered my surgery. There was one small problem. It was a half-time job. So, for about a year and a half I lived on half of what I should be making. Interestingly enough, after my surgery, I was able to move to a better job and now am doing quite well. But that is another story. Finances might slow one down, but it will not stop a true transsexual or someone with HBS. But, for someone like Helms, it does make a good excuse.

Medical:

Another common excuse that some hide behind is "medical problems." Now, there was a time when this was sort of true. It was not that many years ago that conditions like diabetes or being HIV positive could be pretty much a permanent bar to surgery. Now, that is no longer the case. Unless one is probably going to be dead soon, surgery can be had. You might have to lose some weight (I did.), or bring your blood sugar under better control (I also had to do this.), or even shop around a bit to find a surgeon willing to take the chance. But, few are permanently barred from surgery, and those who are are probably going to be dead soon...if not from their condition then from their own hand. Unless, of course, they don't really want surgery after all..,

Personal:

Now, this is the only area where Helms is sort of, kind of, honest. Not about himself, as he is still trying to pretend to be surgery tracked, but about the motives of others. He admits that some just don't want surgery. Well duh!

And for many, surgery is not a proper choice, But the term that Helms uses, "non-op" is bogus. There is no such thing as a "non-op transsexual." If you don't want surgery, you are not a transsexual. If you don't want surgery, you don't want to change your sex, and you are not a transsexual. What could be simpler? Well, if you are trying to co-opt the experience of others....well, then things like the truth are not going to be very high on your list of priorities.

But having admitted that some simply don't want surgery, Helms still insists on making excuses, offering up things like jobs, family, and marriage. Of course almost all transsexuals have to deal with at least one of these, most are going to have to deal with two, and many face all three. It is only those who want to play pretend who actually use these as an excuse.

And then there is the really silly stuff, like being afraid of surgery... Trust me, I knew the risks, I probably knew them better than most. But I knew I would rather die trying than continue to live as a I was.

No, Helms is a classic gender fascist, He wants to push his silliness on those who want no part of it, and to force them under his umbrella. But the truth is, he has never been, is not, and will never be a transsexual. He is a man who, for whatever reason, decided he wanted to play pretend. He had a successful career as a man, serving in the Navy, and apparently had no serious difficulties during that part of his life. Now, he likes having a foot on both side of the fence.

He is a classic "gender outlaw" of the same variety as Kate Bornstein. In a follow-up column he shows this when he again trashes the binary paradigm. He even shows basic ignorance of human biology. Simply put, there are really only two sexes. Now, how sex is determined might be a bit more complex, but chromosonal sex comes in only two varieties. No Y chromosome, and you are considered female, in terms of chromosomes One or more Y chromosome and you are consider male in terms of chromosomes. That is only part of the overall picture, but in terms of chromosomes, it is really that simple. Of course, Helms doesn't like that, so he tosses out the facts and makes up his own. But then, Helms is one of those idiots who thinks that having a penis is perfectly normal for a "woman." So nothing else should surprise anyone.

No, Helms should not have surgery. He should hang on to his penis for dear life. We don't need yet another case of a transgender who made a mistake and now regrets having had surgery. And who spends his days trashing those who do need surgery. Well, Helms, like some others, already does that, but at least he doesn't do so as a post-op. And hopefully he never will.

A Cautionary Tale...

A few weeks ago, there was another story about another man who had a "sex change" and who now regrets it. This story, like some previously, came out of Australia. This is not the first such story to make the headlines, and it probably won't be the last. But this one should serve as a warning sign for both therapists, and those who might be considering such surgery.


Given the details of the story, it is not that surprising that the man has regrets. Of course, a lot of transgender activists are scrambling to try to control the damage. The idea that someone might actually make a mistake is one of the biggest secrets of the "transgender community." But this is exactly the sort of thing that happens when "transgender people" get carried away and proceed with surgery.


First off, the man, now 66, came to regret the surgery five years after having it. Now, that would seem to indicate that he was 61 when he had the surgery. Now, age alone is not an indicator of surgical outcome, but it should be considered. I mean, why did he wait so long? What was his life like before he transitioned?


One of the statements made by him seems to indicate that he did not have a childhood history of issues with his sex being contrary to his gender. That alone is the single major red flag in a case like this. It is entirely possible for someone to encounter delays before actually achieving surgery, so a person might, in rare cases actually have HBS but be relatively old at the time they finally have their body corrected. But if there was no history from childhood, then surgery is almost certainly not advisable.


Perhaps the biggest warning flag was the fact that this man did not find his genitals abhorrent. In a person with HBS that is a major symptom. Of course, this is a common refrain among transgender people, who will often say, "I don't my penis. I would not be terribly concerned if it were to suddenly disappear, but I don't hate it." That sort of statement should raise concerns for a therapist. Once it is gone, it is gone for good. After surgery is not the time to suddenly realize that you miss it.

It is also interesting that this person claims that a previous therapist advised against surgery. In a sense, it seems to come down to a question of who was the most at fault? The doctors who clearly failed to adequately evaluated this patient? Or the patient himself, who clearly failed to make these things known to his therapist.

I know, early on in my transition, I saw one therapist who seemed more interested in chalking up another patient referred for surgery than in actually helping me deal with issues I was struggling with. If I had been a bad candidate for surgery, I don't know that she would have caught it.

Another case that sent the TG activists into a tizzy became known in October of last year. Mike Penner, a sportswriter for the Los Angeles Times announced in April, 2007 that he was going to begin transition and would now be known as Christine Daniels. He began writing a column featured on that paper's web site about his experiences. Then, in October, with little fanfare, Christine disappeared, and Mike returned to the sports pages.

The transgender world was shocked. They rushed to make excuses for why someone might decide to not go forward with transition. And the one reason they wanted to downplay the most was that it might ust have been the right thing. They seemed to want to avoid admitting that not everyone who thinks that transition is the right path is going to succeed. That is why the Standards of Care requires a Real Life Test that lasts a minimum of one year. In many cases, one year is probably not enough. There are two many examples of people who rushed through without considering if they were doing the right thing, and who wind up with the rest of their life to regret it. I know of two for whom this is clearly the case, though neither would be likely to publically admit it. Still, it is clear that their transition has been less than successful.

It is possible that Mike Penner will go on to transition. Many people, myself included, have backed off from transition and returned later. This can be caused by a number of factors such as pressure from family, lack of proper preparation, and even a bad therapist. All three of those played a role in my case. But it can just as easily be that the person realizes that their gender really does match their body.

The bottom line is, this is not a game. A mistake can be tragic. There is no going back...which is a source of joy for those with HBS, but a nightmare for someone who is not. One's transition should not be delayed any longer than necessary, but it should also not be rushed. Therapists need to make sure that the person is not making a mistake.