Sunday, November 20, 2011

Remembering Their Dead

Well, here we are...another November 20th, and another round of posts on all the transgender blogs about how this is the "Transgender Day of Remembrance."  Yes, it is time to celebrate all the honored dead, who sadly, in most cases, did something really stupid.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I am not engaging in blaming the victim.  No one deserves to die, but in most of the cases of those who are honored and even near worshipped each year the victim could have, and yes, should have, taken steps to avoid being murdered.  It is just common sense.

And every year, the transgender extremists seem to go out of their way to discourage people from showing said common sense.  After all, they believe it is their absolute right to act as they wish, and expect people to, well, suck it up.  Unfortunately, no matter how much they believe in such a right, and no matter how much such a right might exist, reality says if you are not careful, you may end up dead.

If you are a pre-op, or you are a crossdressing male who belongs to the "They Will Take My Penis When They Pry My Cold Dead Fingers From It" club, and you become involved with a man who does not know your situation, and you let him "discover" your little secret without warning, then you run a significant rise of violence.  It may be wrong, and hey, you may even live in a jurisdiction where the "trans panic" defense is not allowed, but what does that matter if you wind up seriously injured or dead?  But hey, you will be honored on the next Nov. 20th.  

I do wonder if some of those who die are not subconsciously looking for release.  I do wonder if they are suicidal.  I understand the temptation that one might feel to seek out companionship.  But one has to be careful.  Taking chances is stupid.  Letting a man discover your penis without warning is very likely to end badly.  He is probably not going to be delighted to discover you are a male, no matter how often you call it a "neo-clit."  He is likely, at best, to reject you, and at worst, to engage in violence.  

If you have to reveal, do it in a public place, but one where there is enough privacy that he is not going to be shamed.  Remember, no matter how "out, loud, and proud," you are, he may not share you beliefs.  

And also ask yourself, is it worth your life to engage in sex work?  There are other options.  It is NEVER your only option.  It may seem an appealing choice, but is it worth your life?  Most who engage in sex work wind up using drugs to dull the pain, and then they find that they have to do more sex work to afford the drugs, which leads to more pain, that requires more drugs....well, it just gets worse and worse.  Is it really what you want?

If you are truly transsexual, it is a matter of transition or die.  If you are transgender, if you want to hang on to your maleness while pretending to be a woman, you really need professional health, and you really need to consider if your little hobby is worth dying for.

But seriously, those who do die are not martyrs, and while they should be mourned, they don't deserve the near worship they receive.  They should be seen as tragic examples of what not to do.


Not your friend said...

It's sad they don't teach safety among their kind.

It's sad any of them have to be killed in the first place.

Not your friend said...

By the way speaking of Tee-Gees The notice you received over on LGBTweekly was just after I was banned. No problem that's just one of several IPs i have access to. If I want to post there it's no problem to do so. I guess Sandeen had to get on his knees and wall you know to get them to ban me in spite of there being no threatening comments from your's truly.

I'll be reading and commenting over there as I see fit.