Fifteen Years of Cyberstalking

Note:  This is probably going to be an evolving article.  The purpose is to document the behavior of someone who is engaged in harassment against me.  I have added to it several times already.  If you are interested, check back regularly.  If not, well, just ignore it.

About fifteen years ago, I was recovering from my first failed attempt at transition.  I am not going to go into a lot of detail, but I made several mistakes, mainly rushing into transition, and I had a very poor excuse for a therapist who failed to pick up on a number of issues I was struggling with.  When, as some call them, external pressures got to be too much, I fled back to, as I have put it, "the devil I knew."

It took me seven years to work through it all.  During that time, I discovered a newsgroup with the ironic name alt.support.srs.  I say ironic because it was anything but supportive.  The group was largely terrorized by a group of bullies that included a person who used the name Cheryl, and another who posted as Diane.  They were commonly referred to as "The Sisters of Transsexual Purity" because they would attack anyone who was not, in their judgement, 100% committed to SRS, and progressing at a pace that met their rather stringent standards. 

The really ironic part was, neither was post-op, as they claimed.  The truth about Cheryl came out after that person was found dead in front of their computer.  Someone from the sheriff's department used instant messaging in an attempt to get information, and the person contacted let the newsgroup know that this person had died.

Diane, aka Diane Arons, whose real name is Diane Arons Lask had a rather long history of bullying and cyberstalking that began on FidoNet, if not earlier.  For those too young to remember, FidoNet is a network of computer bulletin board systems that was sort of a predecessor of the Internet.  It is not very popular in the United States these days, but is still in existence, and is more commonly used in Russia and former republics of the USSR.  FidoNet was primarily through the phone system.  A BBS would call an uplink hub and exchange outgoing messages for incoming ones.  It might take a few days for a posting in forum to reach everyone.  It was one of several such "echo net" programs available.  

One of the features of FidoNet is forums, which were sort of like mailing lists or Usenet groups.  And one of the forums on FidoNet was for the discussion of gender issues and Lask was very much a presence there.  And was certainly one of the reasons FidoNet was jokingly called Fight-o-Net.

I didn't access the gender forum on FidoNet because I had not transitioned, and did not want friends to know my medical situation.  If you were on a BBS, it was very easy for the sysop to tell what forums you participated in.

FidoNet was where Lask first encountered a person who called himself Laura Masters (later Laura Blake).  Blake was a transgender extremist from Canada who developed quite a reputation for opposing SRS, and claiming to have "jumped the gurney" on the way to having it.  How much of this was true was never really certain, but Lask developed an major obsession with Blake that would be a driving force in his life for many years.

Now, there is no question that Blake contributed to the whole mess.  Shoot, I will admit to taking more than a few potshots at Blake, who spent a great deal of time attacking transsexuals and trying to pressure people into being "woman-males" to use his term.  Of course, now, the drivel pushed by Blake has become a large part of the transgender dogma, and ironically, Lask seems to have adopted this view as well.

Actually, to be honest, it is never really clear exactly what Lask believes.  Over the years, Lask has attacked, and then sided with, a number of people.  For example, he viciously attacked "Willow" Arune, a notorious online kook, and then took to defending him.  The same was true of a several others.  

The weird thing with Lask is I actually have met this person.  Several years ago, after he stopped harassing me, he contacted me and explained that he had been homeless for some time.  He had been staying in Nevada, and wanted to return to San Francisco and wanted to know if he could sleep on my floor for a period.  Now, I tend to be a forgiving, and compassionate person, and I agreed.  Lask stayed for several days, before moving in with a post-op who, ironically, had responded to a person ad I had placed, even though I an a straight woman.  This person was apparently some sort of trans fan, who preferred transsexuals as partners.  I was not interested, but did seek to interest that person in the research project where I was volunteering at the time.

When I met Lask, one of the more bizarre facts I learned was that this supposed paragon of transsexualism actually had a history with a group originally known as Educational TV Channel (EDTVC) in San Francisco.  It is now known as TransGender SF or TGSF.

Lask turned on me when he decided, rather suddenly, that the alt.support.srs group should be abandoned to the kooks like Arune.  I declined to agree to that idea, and Lask disappeared for a while.  Then there were suddenly someone appeared posting through an anonymous remailer and attacking me.  Those postings seemed to be Lask's styles, but at first I was not completely sure it was him.  Finally, he made reference to some things that only Lask could have known, and it was obvious that Lask had adopted me as a replacement for Blake.

Lask became increasingly abusive, and it was about this time that he suddenly began to defend Arune, and at least one other person he had rather viciously attacked.  I became the sole object of his attention, though he did occasionally check up on Blake (who had withdrawn from the Internet entirely to escape Lask) and provided "updates."  

BTW, at one time, Blake was posting claims about Lask's harassment that many took at either fiction, or delusional.  Now, I wonder, as i have been the victim of similar attacks.

A few years ago, Lask mounted a massive cyberbullying attack on me.  He sent anonymous emails to several transgender activists urging them to contact my employer in an effort to cause me grief.  He basically bragged about this on alt.support.srs.

One of Lask's main tactics is to do extensive online research on a target.  He will scour Google looking for anything he can exploit.  I have learned to be very circumspect about what I allow to be posted online, and, thankfully, Lask does not know a lot about my current life.  Of course, it can be a constant battle.  Changes in Facebook security allowed him to find my daughter, for example.  He then found a blog post she had written about ten years ago, at a time when we were estranged.  As I have said elsewhere, I will not do what Lask did, and invade my daughter's privacy by revealing details, but suffice to say, we are no longer estranged and are very close.  She was very upset at being used as a weapon against me, and was furious that Mr. "Autumn" Sandeen tried to contact her.

After finding a mention about me on my church's website, he made a similar effort to attack me through my church, mistakenly thinking I was then employed there.  I found out about this when Suzan Cooke wrote about having received one, and to Cooke's credit, declined to participate.  On the other hand, Mr. "Autumn" Sandeen was chose to take up Lask's suggestion and I wrote about it here. 

Lask has always had a tendency to come and go.  Even when he is active, there is an odd pattern of several days of almost continuous attacks, almost around the clock, followed by a period when he falls silent.  Well, he had disappeared for some time...until recently.

The first sign that Lask was back was, as is often the case, not completely obvious.  A person started posting in the comments section of Mr. Sandeen's column on LGBT Weekly under the name "Jenna."  At first this person seemed to be a "radical feminist," and even seemed to be disagreeing with Mr. Sandeen.  Then, after I made a comment in support of something he said, he attacked me.  The person's statements were very inconsistent.  Then, over time, it became obvious that this was not only a troll, but was Lask.

The person calling himself "Jenna" repeatedly denied being Lask, but then suddenly, every message where I mentioned "Diane Lask" was deleted.  Yeah, sure it wasn't Lask.  Uh huh, yeah....  Oh, and he is back at it again, trying to imply that he is another troll from Usenet.  No one ever said Lask was very bright...

Since that time, Lask has used the name "Jenna Smith" to access my LinkedIn profile, and has impersonated me on several web sites, as well as using the names of my ex, and my daughter.  He has also apparently created a twitter account using my photo.

This person is a a seriously mentally ill person, and to be honest, there obsession makes me feel rather threatened.  While he has been careful to never say anything that could be taken as a physical threat, a person who is this obsessed can easily turn violent.  So, I am taking this opportunity, knowing that he reads this blog to say to the person using the name Diane Arons Lask, that I am demanding that he cease his harassment.

I realize this is an unusual post, but the primary purpose is to go on the record concerning this person, to comply with a provision of California state law requiring that I inform the person to cease harassing me, and to insure that anyone doing a Google search for Diane Lask will see this information.

A Few Words on Surgery...

This morning, I had a thought that came to me about something that "J. Skyler" said about me.  Referring to me, this person asserted, "...she's a surgical essentialist who thinks anyone who doesn't undergo surgery is pretending/deviant. "  Of course, as is typical with the TG kooks, this is a very simplistic portrayal of a much more complex opinion.  As I pointed out in comments yesterday, I would not automatically use the term "deviant."  As to "pretending," it is also not quite the word I would use either.

So, what do I believe?  First off, I believe that sex reassignment surgery....  Well, let me pause first here, to specifically reject the absurd trend towards calling it "gender reassignment surgery."  This is part of a larger effort by the TG crowd to muddy up, somewhat ironically, the waters they themselves created.  A common meme pushed by the TG crowd is "sex is what is between your legs, gender is what is between your ears."  Of course, they also like to push the idea that gender is, somehow, both fungible, and a choice. But they also want to claim that being TG is not a choice.  In short, they are pretty much making it up as they go.  More precisely, sex is what is between your legs, and what we call "gender" is better defined as the sexual differentiation of the brain.  Simply put, you are either hard wired as a man, or as a woman.  It is, in spite of one of the sillier assertions of some TG kooks, quite related.  But it also occurs at a different time during development.  The body can go male, and the brain female, or vice versa.  Such a condition is rare, but it is what make a person a true transsexual.  So, for something to actually be "gender reassignment surgery," it would have to change the brain, not the genitals.  In short, "gender reassignment surgery" is a fictitious concept, and simply does not exist.

Now, returning to my original thought, sex reassignment surgery, or SRS, does not make a man into a woman (or vice versa) it makes a male into a female (again, or vice versa) to the extent possible with modern techniques.  A better way of putting it would be to say that it allows a true, or classic transsexual the opportunity to live a normal life, and relieves their discomfort with their body.  It corrects, as much as possible, what is, in effect, a birth defect.  It is not magic, and it does not  change who a person is, or make them something they are not.

What this "J. Skyler" person seems to suggest is that I think that the act of having surgery would do just that, and nothing could be further from the truth.  Mr. "Autumn" Sandeen whined, "...It's more than that. She even gets on post-SRS folk who she deems to not be ideologically pure."  Again, a statement that is a bit of a distortion of what I actually think.  Yes, I have encountered post-ops that I seriously believe made a mistake having SRS.  For example, there is "Willow" Arune, the notorious defending of Bailey, Blanchard, and Lawrence, who asserted that he had decided to have SRS because he was raped in a Thai prison (and supposedly had it suggested by a therapist in Thailand).  Another good example would be "Anne" Lawrence...of Bailey, Blanchard, and Lawrence.  I could name a few more, but why bother?  Some are relatively well known, and some are more obscure.  Some have openly declared that they made a mistake, and others, like Arune, just act out in ways that show that their surgery was in error...while often maintaining that they made no mistake.  

So, what is my view?  It is actually simple.  SRS, like an medical procedure, has indication and contraindications.  It is not for everyone.  Surgery is not the dividing line between "real and fake, or between pretending/deviant and...well, whatever that person imagines would be the alternative."  Nor is it about ideology.  Of course, this shows what TG is about, and why it is a flawed, and yes, very dangerous concept.  SRS, again, is a medical procedure.  Those who would undergo it should be carefully screened.  In fact, if a therapist is not rejecting people who seek it, something is very wrong.  And sadly, an increasing number of therapists will pretty much rubber stamp any request.  Mistakes are going to happen.  Some people will always be able to con even the best therapist into granting them approval.  But, therapists should be more cautious.  Surgery should never be "on demand."

For example, if they are faced with someone who is middle-aged, has had a long and successful career as a man, who has shown no prior issues with their gender identity (and no, crossdressing not only doesn't count, but should be a red flag), these things should be investigated.  People who are transsexuals have life-long problems.  When someone claims they have always "known" they were the wrong sex, but clearly had no problems coping, and then suddenly, often after something that would otherwise trigger a mid-life crisis, declare that they are transsexual, and want a sex change, something is probably amiss.  As much as possible, the therapist should interview friends, family, and when appropriate, spouses.  There are a lot of things that should be looked at.  Taking the person's word for it, is not a wise path.

Fortunately, most who should not have SRS don't seek it.  This is the other side of the coin.  I don't think, for example, That Mr. Sandeen is a man because he doesn't want surgery.  I think he doesn't want surgery because, simply put, he is a man.  If he did decide to go the full route, it would not change him into a woman.  He would still be a man, albeit one with a vagina....in effect, finally becoming a transsexual, albeit an FTM.

And that brings us back to a very simple fact.  True transsexuals are rare.  Those who, for want of a better term, can be labeled as "transgender" are far more common.  This has always been true.  Being transgender is a choice, and currently something of a fad.  It is, in many ways, the current rebellious fad.  Such things come and go.  History offers many such examples, but the ones most are familiar with are the more recent ones... In the Fifties, there was the Beat Generation. At least they gave us some interesting literature.  In the Sixties, the Hippies came along.  They gave us some decent music.  They were followed by things like Punks, and Slackers....which didn't seem to give us much of anything.  I imagine, in time, the TG fad will begin to wane as well...and some will be left badly damaged because of it.